Faith, hope and love. These three are the staples of everything from fairytales, to the Bible. They are quoted and drawn upon in all areas of life. People not only wrap their lives and spirituality around these three pillars but also try to incorporate them into their politics. These three words are concrete and abstract at the same time. They are reached for by those who are living a joy filled life and by those who are aching for such. But, one connection between them all is that they are often times vastly misunderstood and even misused.
Of course one of the most well known and quoted dissertation on these is 1 Corinthians 13 where in verse 13 it says, "And now, these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." Truly, love, above all, has indescribable power. Power to change, to forgive, to lead, to heal, to cure, to open a heart, and so much more. Love can not be summed up or fully described in few words (although the 1 Corinthians 13 does a very good job).
Many people from poets to authors from ministers to laymen from neighbors to family have tried to recount the effects and depth of love. I am certainly not claiming that I understand completely, in fact, I am the first to admit that I barely grasp even the smallest implications of the word. However, you and I both know that when it is represented in sincerity, and truth it is impossible to miss it.
There are many things that love IS and many that it is NOT. We have quite the list in 1 Corinthians. We have heard many times, "If you really love someone you will..." or "...you will not...". But there is one that I imagine you don't hear that often. It is counter- cultural, it is many times opposite of what we feel, it is difficult and it is rarely seen. It is the act of taking personal responsibility for wrong doings we have committed. Yes, I do believe that is one of the many ways to express true love to someone.
Someone once told me that if you want to have a happy marriage always try to be the first to apologize. I'm not saying be a doormat or grovel. I am simply saying that if you do a wrong or make a mistake own up to it. Our society is no longer condoning this righteous behavior. You see it all the time - "it's their fault that I am..." or "it's not my fault I..." or "it's their responsibility to... for me" or "it's not my responsibility to...". Right? Ring a bell? Well, as I recall I don't remember Jesus, the embodiment of love, ever saying, "It's not my fault they are all sinners." And, although he did not sin and have to take responsibility for mistakes, he went a step further and took on the responsibility for the entire world. If we can't take personal responsibility for the small things we do how can we expect to receive the grace that has come from such a great act of love?
When we step up and take responsibility for the things we have done or left undone we free up those around us to forgive. We allow time and resources that otherwise would be wasted on covering our mess to be freed for better use. When we take responsibility, we are admitting to our own humanity and our own need for love. We are stripping away at the pride in our life and admitting that we are no better than those around us. When we admit we were wrong and try to fix the problem we are showing that we are humbled and teachable and that we would accept the same from them without judgement. There are so many ways that love is shown when we take the time to own up to our mistakes and make the necessary changes in our lives.
If we all would take personal responsibility for the things we've messed up in our own lives we would be paying less in our own time and money and resources to fix the problems caused by others. I encourage us all to take a step back and think about taking the more righteous approach to love. Let us lay down ourselves, take up our responsibility and truly make a change in our lives. Let's teach our children that mistakes are made but owning up to it is what makes you a better person. Let's show the world that love is not arrogant. Let's do it, one family and one day at a time.
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