God in the Heart of a Father

I was inspired by a friend's statement. She said, "Maybe it was your father's behavior that helped you not respond in the 'normal' ways." Out of context that doesn't really make sense. Read on.

Sparing many details that span many years I will begin by telling you that some very sad, even abusive things happened to me when I was a child. Things that should never happen to a young girl. Suffice it to say, inappropriate touching happened. A person within the family took advantage of my childhood innocence. I was so young I really didn't understand. As it continued over many years I learned it was not right. So, eventually I stood up for myself and put a stop to the inappropriate behavior. Thankfully, it worked and those events stopped.

Now, truthfully, I should be scarred, wounded, angry, bitter, hateful, suffer from low self-esteem and possibly depression etc. But I don't. For many years I held the secret inside, I told no one, but instead of letting it eat at me and keep my wounds open I decided to choose the path of forgiveness. To make a long story short, I forgave. Forgetting is impossible. Strong boundaries are in place but my heart is free.

Over the years I have shared some of my story with a few people. Sometimes I believe it has been helpful. A lot of times I get the look that says, "You're lying. You must be in denial. There's no way you can be okay." Truth is, many people who experience what I did end up that way; bitter, angry and not okay. I was sharing with one of my closest friends the other day. I had previously told her the whole story of those events in my childhood. This time I was telling her about the responses I was getting to my story. I remembered the first time I told her. She gave me that look. I asked her about it. "So, why did you look at me like I was lying when I told you that I was healed and okay? That I had forgiven and was walking in freedom?" She said, "I really didn't believe that was possible after such horrific experiences. But, as I've gotten to know you over the years and I've watched how you live your life. I believe you now."

As our conversation continued we explored the importance of a daddy's relationship with his daughter. I grew up with an absolutely loving, wonderful daddy. Even though he didn't know what had happened in secret, he offered healing words. I remember hearing him telling me I was a beautiful young lady, that he was proud of me. He protected me, he loved me, he accepted me. He forgave me. He was an example of Jesus to me.

My friend said that maybe it was his behavior as a loving, caring father that helped my heart to heal and protected me from the normal pitfalls of abuse. I believe she is right. I would go one step further. I believe is was partly his example of a loving, caring, forgiving father that led me to feet my Heavenly Father. That is where I found and still find the ultimate healing and forgiveness.

I see the big picture now. I see the potential for so many pitfalls and pain in my life. But, I see that in responding to the leading of the Holy Spirit, my dad led me toward the path of life. God in the heart of a father is a powerful thing!